Hi everyone! Welcome to today’s blog post. In this mini lesson I’m diving into a question that I am frequently asked by my students: You are, or you are being? The distinction between the two can often be confusing and there can be some layers of nuance to it’s usage. But don’t worry, together we will explore the differences in depth with a simple explanation of the difference followed by examples to demonstrate their practical usage.
So what’s the difference?
you are being = temporary
you are = always
EXAMPLES
You are being difficult. Why won’t you just agree with me?
(This is a temporary characteristic. – now)
You are so difficult to work with. You never agree with me.
(This is part of your character. – always)
You are being really mean! You don’t need to make fun of me.
(This is a temporary characteristic. – now)
Why doesn’t anyone like you? Because you are mean.
(This is part of your character. – always)
You are being really unrealistic. We can’t afford a new car now.
(This is temporary. – now)
You are unrealistic. You always expect to get rich quickly without working hard.
(This is normal. – always)
Hm….why is my boss being so nice to me?
(This is strange. Normally he isn’t nice. This is recent. – now)
My boss is always nice to me.
(This is normal.)
Usually, when we use ‘are being’/’being’, there is a negative feeling:
You are being really rude/annoying/mean/standoffish…
Even using the adjective ‘nice’ feels negative, because it means it’s temporary.
Tony is only being nice, because he wants to borrow your car.
unnatural:
You are being beautiful/wonderful/intelligent/…
In the examples above, you see ‘you are’ and ‘you are being’ used with an adjective.
But, you can also use a noun.
You are a teacher.
(This is your job.)
You are my best friend.
(This is ‘always’.)
You are a great pianist.
(This is ‘always’.)
Older sister: Mom! Jimmy is being a brat!
(a temporary situation)
Why are you being such a jerk!
(a temporary situation)
To your adult boyfriend/girlfriend: You are being a child!
(Now you are acting immaturely. – temporary)
To your adult boyfriend/girlfriend: You are a child!
(You are always immature.)
Thank you so much for reading and exploring the nuances of this topic with me today. I hope this mini lesson has shown not just the grammatical aspect, but also the subtle shifts in meaning that these phrases can bring to your everyday English conversations. If you have any of your own examples you would like to share, please leave them in the comments below, I love hearing from you! Please check back for more mini lessons in the future, I’ll see you soon! 🙂
Thank you very much for reading!
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See you next time! Arnel 🙂
